Feeling Good! Who Would’ve Thought!

 28 April – 03 June 2018

Its been a pretty productive week I think. At least I feel good about it. I wasn’t feeling great going into my supervisor meeting on Tuesday. I knew I was taking too long with the presentation I’m doing in the middle of the month but it was a complete relief to hear I didn’t have to put a paper together for it which is what I had been working on. I’m not sure how I got it in my head that I needed to do that. Silly of me but oh well, nothing to be done now. But it did mean that I got the presentation pretty much together on Wednesday. All the notes are there and ready to go. My PowerPoint is not where I want it still but I’m not worried about that. I always do a PowerPoint a few times before I’m happy with it for anything. It doesn’t take very long at all.

I also went in to uni on Wednesday and Thursday which was really good and productive. I felt like I got a lot done those days. I work well at home but I think it’s the thing of if i’m going to get up at 5:30am to travel all the way to my campus there’s no point not making the most of it or it’d be a complete waste of time and energy. It’s just that little extra motivation paying off. And helpfully, having felt more productive those two days, it was easy to carry some of that motivation through to Friday, though my Saturday afternoon was nowhere near as productive as I wanted it to be given that I was going to be out all Sunday but I think I was just in day off mode as Saturday afternoons are usually my time to myself. 

Anyway, I managed to get a proper bibliography together this week. That was an interesting exercise because it showed me that I had actually been doing a decent amount of research in amongst all the reading and working on particular things. Sometimes a collected product like a bibliography is helpful to remind myself just what I have been doing. A little like these blogs if I’m honest. Just a little reminder that I have things to talk about, there is work that’s been done. The bibliography did also show me that I have a lot of stuff to check out if not read entirely. It also made me think about the idea of revisiting the stuff that I’ve gathered or noted down, just so that it doesn’t become a straight checklist for me to get through and I end up wasting my time on things I maybe don’t have to read. There were a couple things that I had left on there after last year that were probably not necessary anymore so I just took off. Also sending it my supervisors is something I perhaps should have done earlier to get their input, things I’m missing or are unnecessary for example. As I’m writing this, I just got an email from one to take a couple of sources off there, because there’s no use having them really if I don’t address them which she doesn’t think there should be any need for me to do, which makes sense.

I also found doing a chapter breakdown this week to be both a productive and frustrating enterprise. It was certainly helpful in trying to crack at how the thesis will come together. However, it was more difficult than I would have liked and I think I ended up with something really simplistic and not very good. I’m still struggling with the big picture, the idea that all of these parts will come together in one whole and trying to work out what’s going to go where is so overwhelming at the moment. The structure of anything I write, every essay, even blog post, all of it, is something I obsess about. It’s very important to me that a piece of writing flows nicely. So I think I’m finding it frustrating that I can’t visualise for sure how this thing will come together. But, having said all that, it was still a really helpful exercise to try and have a go at it, trying to think about the pieces and how they might fit together. I’m trying to make sure to think about it as a process, a ongoing thing that will be adapted and changed as I get further into the writing and the research. But it is nice to have a little map, even if it is a sketch that is probably missing some landmarks. We’ll get there.

So that’s the plan this week. I’m going to try to get rid of any backed up work so that I can go into the Sydney Film Festival without any worries. It’s going to be tiring enough as it is. 

 

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